Just when I thought the dust have settled. It's just gotten stirred up once more.
I seriously don't know what life wants out of me... One moment it's gone, dead and silent. The next moment, it comes back again. Strangely coincidental uncanny timing; at the point when the termination button had been pushed.
Is there no end to this liaison? Meant to be? Some karma cycle going on? Or that the Supreme being up there thinks, "Naddah! Not time yet! Let's put you through some rigorous tests to make certain that you've snapped out of that loop!"
Maybe. A test.
Or perhaps, really, a final au revoir.
Would the decision that I make in compliance to perhaps, desire and pity cause me to have further regrets? Would it rouse even more, the hidden emotions of the heart while shaking up the skeletons in the closet?
Would I not be able to pull away again?
Or perhaps, to face it with courage and a determination to put things straight - would finally allow me to end this cyclical damage of self defeat. Maybe that is why. An opportunity to finally let that last speck of dust set; to be freed.
Or a chance to really examine what is it that I want.
Embrace it, tackle it and face it straight on with good faith.
Only time will tell.
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